Traditional weddings are packed with gendered language and traditions. Our wedding will definitely sound different! Here are some of the language choices we've made:

Names, Pronouns and Gender Neutral Language

Alicia uses they/them pronouns, and Kelly uses she/her pronouns. We both prefer gender neutral language for most situations. We’d rather not be called “ladies” or “girls.” We’re just people! And instead of saying the traditional Southern “Thank you, ma’am,” we’d much rather hear just “Thank you!”

During our ceremony you won’t hear the word "brides.” We’re "the wedding couple." In our vows, we will be using the word “spouse” instead of “wife.” We won’t be introduced as Mrs. and Mrs. Mac. We are simply Alicia and Kelly Mac.

The vast LGBTQ lexicon describes all kinds of identities, bodies, and relationships. There are no strict rules...it's truly up to each person to choose the words that fit their understanding of who they are and how they love. For example, even though Alicia identifies as non-binary, we both still use the word lesbian.

Preferred words can change over the course of a person's life, and it shows deep respect to honor their decisions about language. Here are a few concepts that are good to know, and if you want to learn more, HRC (Human Rights Campaign) is a great resource.

Gender Identity: Your inner sense of your gender.

People might feel that their identity is male, female, or somewhere in between. Trans people don't identify with the biological sex that was written on their birth certificate. Non-binary identities exist outside of the male/female binary. Genderqueer, gender fluid, and agender are some of the other words people might use.

Gender Expression: How you express your gender outwardly.

Gender expression can include things like clothing, hairstyles, the way you speak, the way you move your body, and even the social activities you engage in. Different communities and cultures have different conventions of gender expression; many people fall outside of those norms and expectations. For some people that happens sometimes, but for others it's all of the time.

Gender expression and gender identity are two different things. Sometimes they do align, but not always. For example, you might identify as male but prefer a more feminine form of gender expression. Or you might identify as female but prefer an androgynous appearance and behavior.

Sexual Orientation: Who you are attracted to.

There are so many words to describe relationships -- many more than just straight, gay, lesbian, and bisexual. Human sexuality encompasses physical, emotional, romantic, and even intellectual and spiritual dimensions. But no matter how you experience it, love is love!